To the Mom with all the Perfect Friends

Dear Mom Who Isn’t Getting It Right,

I know you feel ill-equipped at times to do the task at hand. And when I say task, I am actually referring to the task of being a mom and raising a family. You know, the task that’s really no big deal. Simply stated, it’s just the hardest and most important job you’ll ever have.

And this feeling of falling short seems to happen a lot when you compare yourself to Suzy Homemaker down the street. Or Miss Marathon at swim club. Or that mom at playgroup who grows her own food. Or that celeb mom you read about in the article at the hair salon who makes her kids’ clothing from the sheep she has on her farm.

It’s true, little mom. For some strange reason, you are the only mom amongst your friends who doesn’t seem to have it figured out. I mean all your other friends seem to manage it all in stride without complaining. Their houses are always clean, they are never tired, they cook everything gluten-free without additives, and they still have energy to exercise and shower before their kids get up without batting a single eye.

If you are reading this and wanting to puke, go ahead. You should. Because let me let you in on a little secret. They are no different from you. I promise.

  • They have days when it all goes well. And days when it all goes to hell.
  • There are days when their house is clean. And days when the toys strewn across their floor would cause even the most skilled trapeze artist to trip and fall.
  • They have days when they are bored with the monotony of their routine. And days when their kids expose them to a sense of wonder so amazing they feel like they are in NeverNeverLand.
  • They have days when they put their kids first because they want to. And days when they put their kids first because they know they should. And every once in a while, they put themselves first and sneak a candy bar without the kids knowing and feel mildly guilty about it later.
  • They have days when they wake up rested and ready to play and days when they are so tired all they can think about is when it will be time for their little ones to nap.
  • They have days when they do flashcards and handwriting and math with their children and days when they let them watch two movies back to back.
  • They have moments when their kids make them beam with pride and moments where they feel embarrassed their child shares their last name.
  • They have days when they get all the laundry done and days they wear a shirt with spaghetti on the sleeve from the hamper.
  • They have days when they think they have it pretty figured out and days where they realize they have a long way to go.
  • They have days when they dream of going on a long getaway without their kiddos and days when they are sitting in between them and thinking there is no place in the world they would rather be.
  • They have days when their kids puke on them and they like it. Scratch that. There is never going to be a day any mom enjoys getting puked on. No matter how amazing she is. :)
  • They have days when their kids are calm and sweet and days when their kids are wild and sassy.

I will stop here because I am sure you get the point I’m trying to make.

No mom has it ALL FIGURED OUT. And all moms have their bad moments and days. And all moms have their shining star moments and days.

And most likely, if one mom is excelling in some area you consider yourself to be weak, you are likely strong in an area that is not a focus of hers. She may be up on new novels and reading and you may think, “When does she have time to read? I could never fit that in.” But you may be refinishing your third piece of furniture and she may look at you and think, “Where does she find the time for decorating?”

And sure, there are some amazing moms out there that make motherhood look easy. They have awesome tricks of the trade they’ve learned and you would be silly to not take note when you can.

And yes, there are some moms out there that have 6 kids and could have 6 more in stride. But there are also moms who have one kid and think one is more than enough. So just remember, moms make up a myriad of personalities. There are no two alike.

So back to my point, you aren’t falling short. You are just a mom. And yes, you may not have it all figured out. But just remember, neither do they. They are just doing their best just like you.

With Love,

The Mom Who You Thought Had it Figured Out (Who Doesn’t) :)

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Quinn is a wife, blogger and boymom with a degree in marriage and family therapy. 99% of her time is spent keeping her four boys alive and the other 1% is spent writing about their crazy times in her blog called Sanctification and Spitup also found on Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram. If you want to instantly feel better about the hecticness of your life, give her a follow to see it could be much worse. (She only wishes she was kidding.)

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