I hate to be judgmental, and I would never want to offend, but in the words of my late Grandma Freda: “It’s the truth, and someone has to say it.” So here’s the hard and honest truth about our formerly lovely, little neighborhood:
Some crazies moved in.
For one, they have this dog that is super annoying. I am not exaggerating when I say he gets out at least twice a day. But today, I would say he got out at least four times. And every time it happens, I sit there and watch this girl chase her dog down the street trying to bribe it with food and think to myself, “Get a leash. Or shut your door.” I mean seriously. What could be so hard about keeping a dog in the house?
And then on cool days when their windows are open, look out! I don’t know if they have a circus going on in there or what. But all day, all that comes out of their windows are wild screams and cries from their kids. And I’m sitting there thinking to myself, “Could you please put a mute button on those boys?!” I mean really. What are they up to in there? Bull riding?!
And then there are the toys they have laying out in their yard. It looks like they have a garage sale going on year round. They’ve got trucks and slides and balls and bats and dog toys and who knows what the rest of that stuff is? And don’t get me started on the blow up pool they leave setting out during the summer in their front yard.
And lastly, the mom. She is ALWAYS running late. I never seem to see her leaving the house with her kids when she isn’t in some major hurry looking all rushed and late with her kids dawdling behind her. I can’t help but just look at her and think, timer. Set a timer and help yourself, woman. Seriously.
So, I’m truly tempted to go all Grandma Freda on her bootie and tell her how quiet the neighborhood was before they moved in and possibly offer her some help in the “getting your life together” department. Because they seriously need it. But I can’t.
Cause we’re them.
We’re the crazies. And I like this neighborhood just a little too much.
And besides. Who really wants a quiet neighborhood anyway? Peace and quiet is for the birds. Right? Which is why I’m sure the FOR SALE sign in our neighbor’s yard has nothing to do with us.