I found myself crying on my kitchen counter this morning, and while I can be known to regularly tear up at movies or sweet stories, as a whole, I am not a girl who cries. In fact, I am normally pretty darn cheery.
But today, I just couldn’t hold back the tears.
And when my husband walked in the kitchen to see my face buried in the counter, he wasn’t sure what to make of the situation.
“Sweetie, what is wrong?
Are you okay?
Did something happen?”
As he’s waiting for my response. I can’t answer. I’m still crying. But he continues to wait until I can collect myself looking concerned and confused all at once.
My mouth opens just enough to get out the words, “I’m just a little worn down.”
More tears continue. Then he hugs me and I keep crying.
That was the start to my day. At 7:30 am.
For the last few weeks, I have found myself feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the balance of life.
My life is not bad. In fact, nothing about it is bad. Instead, it is full of blessings and goodness and cute boys and love and hugs.
But in saying that, I would not call it easy.
And lately, I would also use adjectives like tiring, non-stop, demanding, tiring, non-stop, loud, tiring, chaotic, tiring…oh, and did I mention I am tired?
And I just keep telling myself that if I could have just a few hours to collect myself and my thoughts and pray and journal that I would feel better.
But as strange as that sounds, finding that time is harder than you can imagine. Because as a mom, there aren’t a lot of breaks. (See picture above for explanation.) But there is a God who can help us when we need one.
So this morning, I decided to pray and ask God to refill my empty cup. And the scripture that kept coming to mind was: “His strength is made perfect in our weakness. II Corinthians 12:9”
To which I couldn’t help but think, “Dang, then His strength is going to look darn near perfection in my life today. Cause I am feeling weak. So weak.”
And while I do not enjoy feeling weak, I DO like having opportunities to let God be God because he seems to be really good at doing the whole “God” thing. Whereas me? Not so much.
So today during this Christmas season, I am going to put my money where my mouth is and trust him to do what he does best…be the savior to the world.
Or better yet for today, He can be my savior from the weight of the world.
And I suspect He is up to the challenge. Just a little hunch I have.
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