10 Things That (Always) Happen When Your Child is Screaming in their Car Seat

Ahhhh. Car seats. You gotta love them. I know I do. I mean, what’s not to love?

They keep our children safe.
They keep them from getting to us while we are driving.
They are the embodiment of everything cleanly.
And most importantly.
They relax the children in them.

I can’t tell you how many relaxing car rides I’ve had because my children (especially my baby) LOVE to sit in their seats for trips. I compare these experiences to little mini vacations. Especially long ones where my children are strapped to their seat for hours upon hours. (Oh and for short ones too where I’m getting them in and out of the car seat a hundred times in one morning.) They freaking love it. And I do too!

If you are reading this and nodding your head in agreement and not seeing the sarcasm drip off the words you’re reading, then you are an alien with kids from another planet. And you can’t convince me otherwise. ;)

Because long trips with kids strapped in car seats whom are CRYING is my version of hell on earth. I realized this yesterday on a weekend trip home with my hubby as our 21-month-old decided to scream for the first hour and a half of our trip.

During that tortuous drive, I discovered there are 10 certain things that always happen to me when one of my children is crying in the car. See if you can relate. ;)

1. The day that WAS originally beautiful all of a sudden begins to look dark and gloomy like a scene from a horror movie. 

“Awww. What a beautiful day! The birds are chirping. The sun is shining. The windows are rolled down with a breeze on my face. Life is good!”

Then the crying begins.

“What an ugly day! I hate sunshine. It is so obnoxious. And depressing.”

2. The car’s air conditioner suddenly feels broken and suffocation feels likely. 

“Wow, that air sure feels good. It’s sooo cold!”

Then the crying begins.

“Oh my gosh. I think the air is broken. I am sweating over here. I’m going to have to roll the windows down. AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I’m going to suffocate in here!!!

3. Your partner goes from your favorite person to your worst enemy in less than a minute.

“I was thinking about how much I love you today when I saw you at that party…”

Then the crying begins.

“I think we need to split. This isn’t working out for me anymore.”

4. You go from slow and cautious driver to fast and furious stuntman. 

“Wow, look at that maniac driving like a bat out of hell! He’s going to hurt someone.”

Then the crying begins.

“Yo, GRANDMA!!! Speed it up! We don’t have all day!!! I’m going to floor it, Babe. What’s a $200.00 ticket anyway?”

5. Every song is annoying and wrong.

“Kids, you wouldn’t know it but this is something called a mix CD from high school. These were some of my all-time favorite jams when I was your age. Say hello to Britney!!”

Then the crying begins.

“Oops, I did it again, kids, and put in the WORLD’S WORST CD of music you’ll ever hear. Why did people ever like her anyway? She just played with my heart. I got lost in the game. Oooooo, baby. She’s not that innocent!!!”

(Side note: Don’t tell me that didn’t make you crave some old-school Britney!!)

6. Your blood pressure skyrockets.

“Babe, I went to the doctor last week. He was saying that all my running has me in prime health condition. And my resting heart rate is super low.”

Then the crying begins.

“Kids, did you let the ferret loose? Something crawled in my shirt and is moving up and down!”

“No. honey. That’s your heart pounding. I can actually see it!”

7. You find that your normal voice is gone and the only words coming from you are yells. 

“Kids, try not to yell in the backseat. Your father and I are trying to talk.”

Then the crying begins.

“KIDS, I SAID STOPPPPPPPP YELLING!!!!”

“But, Mom, you’re the one yelling. We are just reading books.”

8. You decide that you can live on the side of the road instead of driving home. 

“I can’t wait to get home to our beds. There’s just no place like home!”

Then the crying begins.

“Kids, say hello to Oklahoma. It’s your new home. Well, actually that rest stop is! We’re moving in, kids!! I never liked our house anyway!”

9. Peeing in diapers becomes mandatory so that you can get home. (Even for grown ups.)

“Kids, just let me know when you need to pee and I will pull over. I’m so glad to have everyone potty-trained and out of diapers!!”

Then the crying begins.

“Everyone put on a diaper. This car ain’t stopping till we’re home.”

“Actually, honey. I need to pee. It’s not just the kids!”

“Well, there are a few size 5’s in the back. Get to changing! I hear they stretch!!!!”

10. You become a gorilla. 

There’s nothing more to say. After I hear crying for more than ten minutes. I actually transform! And freaky mommy comes out!

I go from this.

nice quin2

To this. In 10 Seconds Flat.

mean gorilla

….

Share for a laugh. Share if you can relate.
Share if someone you know hates hearing crying kids in car seats as much as I do!

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The author of this article is a wife, mother, blogger and licensed marriage and family therapist. 99% of her time is spent keeping her 3 boys alive and the other 1% is spent writing about their crazy times in her blog Sanctification and Spitup, which is also found on Facebook.

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Quinn is a wife, blogger and boymom with a degree in marriage and family therapy. 99% of her time is spent keeping her four boys alive and the other 1% is spent writing about their crazy times in her blog called Sanctification and Spitup also found on Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram. If you want to instantly feel better about the hecticness of your life, give her a follow to see it could be much worse. (She only wishes she was kidding.)

One thought on “10 Things That (Always) Happen When Your Child is Screaming in their Car Seat

  1. Been there done that. That was with Daughter & Grandchildren doing halfway drop off. Screaming, yelling, up chucking you name it we did it. Stress level & blood pressure sky high, but would do it over & over if it meant getting to see our Grandson & Daughter together for a couple of weeks.
    With Gods help we all got through it.
    That little boy is 13 years old & is spending 6 weeks with us & his mom before he goes back to Michighan.

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