I don’t know about you. But sometimes I feel like the bad mom surrounded by all the good ones. It’s funny how I know so many moms that seem to really have it together.
But me? Well, not so much.
Yet last week, I had two separate friends say, “You always make it look so easy.” They were saying this in regard to feeling like they were falling short as moms, as if somehow I’m not.
And I don’t know what version of me they were seeing, but I would say it’s the rose-colored glasses or possibly the blind mouse version. Because today at Target, I apparently looked SO frazzled with a cart full of random presents and a baby on my hip that the store worker naturally opened up a new line just for me even though there were about 20 other moms standing around with carts full of stuff. (I mean that’s the thing we always dream of as we’re standing there bitterly looking at the unused registers, right?) But that NEVER happens.
So I think that says it perfectly about just how well I have it together. Or should we say apart–as in falling apart. :) The type of apart where even the Target worker has pity on me as I was trying to do everything I could do accomplish all the things it takes to be a good mom.
You know? Buying team snacks for my son’s basketball game and presents for two friends’ birthday parties and Christmas gifts for a child through our church…and I was swinging and a-missin’ while my youngest son was on my hip tired and ready for a nap.
And then a friend saw my situation and helped me by holding my son as I checked out. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself and think as I was walking out of the store how much I love other moms. The moms who think I have it together. (Laughing right now.)
I love the community I feel when I look over at you and see you doing what I’m doing. And admire you all the more for it. Because you’re amazing. And you don’t even know.
So today, I just wanted to say:
You’re a good mom, and you need to know it. Yes. YOU.
And being good doesn’t mean that you’re perfect or pretty or thin or organized or a master planner of all. No. A good mom is a mom who loves her children and gives it HER best. And nobody else’s best. End of story.
Your child doesn’t need the perfect Pinterest mom like you tell yourself. Your child needs you. But even more than that. Your child wants you as you are. Not the version of you in your head.
And your child doesn’t notice that her Christmas family homework project isn’t quite as professional looking as her classmate’s was. She just remembers you threw macaroni her way to glue on her paper while you cooked her macaroni for dinner, and she’s proud of the stick figures she drew and that you applauded.
Your child doesn’t need the mom down the street. Or the mom with the really cute outfit next door. He doesn’t care that you have messy hair, ugly sweats and coffee breath as you drop him off at school. He will just remember that you smiled at him everyday as you sent him off and probably always remember the smell of your vanilla coffee with fondness as he grows.
Your daughter doesn’t notice that you aren’t good at swimming when you try and race her across the pool. She’s just glad you got in and tried. She never once looked at your cellulite.
Your son doesn’t care that your bedtime story made absolutely no sense at all. (None.) He just loves hearing your voice and seeing you try your best and act out the part of the brave police officer even though you’re dressed in all pink pajamas and totally unpolicelike.
She doesn’t care that you don’t know how to cook grilled cod with roasted potatoes and butternut squash. She loves her fish sticks and the way you stir her chocolate milk just so.
He doesn’t hold it against you that you yelled at him for leaving his clothes on the floor. But he probably will remember that when you felt bad you would always curl up next to him and apologize thus setting a great example in how to apologize for him.
She doesn’t care that you sound off-key when you sing. She just loves that when her favorite song comes on the radio that you always join along and sing with her. Like you’re a little crazy. Okay. A lot crazy.
He doesn’t need the mom that gets up at 5 am to run (if you do that’s great), he just appreciates the times you stop what you’re doing to run around the yard with him.
She doesn’t need the mom with the biggest, most beautifully decorated house. She just needs the mom that makes the house she lives in beautiful because of who she is.
Because these are the things that its all about. Our children don’t need a perfect mom. They just need the mom that God gave to them. The woman who’s perfect for the job of loving them.
And she’s you.
And you’re a good, good mom.